im freaking bored!!we are suppose to go to the family fiesta today...but..im sorry,ayah ade keje.well as usual.last nite ask mum bout my birthday.im sorry maybe we postpone boleh?maybe ayah keje.can i say sumthing? WTFH!!!wat the fucking hell lah.2 years in a row.my sweet sixteen now seventeen.juz bcuz i forgive it doesnt means i forget...

so yea im going to np soon n tats gona sucks too...juz found out yesterday sumone will be in my class.thank u god.haix...

P.S im not free as a bird am i?

With LOVEs
hidayah

two weeks since my last post.been quite busy and sick...wat can i say?im missing the guy from the past after looking thru the past diary..the words he says and texted me make me wonder why everything happens.how it happen...and what made it happen?

i guess no matter wat?im gald it happen...i once said the love is forever.and it will be...but it may not last...cuz not there are new ppl in both our life...im glad i knew u b4 anyone...

being sick is weird.especially wit the sleeping disorder.im feeling wat he is feeling..its weird but still...i can look at the moon all night long without being sleepy at all.with these set of teeth.its easier to bite things.even flesh... hear thing from far..even thoght its temporary but im lucky.im glad tat one thing didnt happen.well im in love again but this time everything will be different...

P.S i love u hun!

With LOVEs
hidayah

Decided!

like finally..im done wit the JAE.haha..gosh making the choice is harder then sitting for the O levels.at least wen ur sitting for the exams its peaceful n stress.but making the choice is equal to tons of nagging and stress.so which would u prefer?haha but im glad its all over!

im hoping to go to NP haha...i guess it is a fresh beginning for every freshman including me...hehe.i can wait to like go to skul again n actually see hym once in awhile to be my victim..hehe but there are always problems..i juz got to kno the past is actually pulling us apart.i dun get it how i can get in between a rival or ppl tat i duno in the past...weird right?but i hope they dun meet up.or else one of they might end up in hospital..touch wood!

P.S imagine is our wish do come true..

With LOVEs
hidayah

so how did i do?terrible but i dun care cause i still can get to the course i want that ppl say its not good.but at least the course have jobs wen i graduate.tats the most important rite?and thank goodness the course i want COP high.hehe easy to get in.well im happy that someone is leading life and many ppl are happy wit thier own effort...


I MISS MY DING AND BELL!

P.S i think im gona fall in love again..

With LOVEs
hidayah

14 hours to results!!

its hours away from the big event that will decide my future.OMG im freaking out here already.but first anyway i would like to say thanks to all my family members hu had been nagging at be to study n focus on wat i want till i duno wat i want anymore.plus to both my dear uncle hu gave me talks and tips about my career path and all the demands and other stuff that i dun realli get it.hehe...THANK YOU!

secondly was im very dissapointed bout today`s event.how come the monthly visit tat was plan for 12 ended up for two ppl only?anyway..thank you baby sitter!for cuming and u still forgot my tea!!haha...but really thank u lah for not making me feel like an idiot there.thanks afiq.

lastly,i never tot tat cutting my hair was a no drama wen i saw like so many ederly getting their hair cut earlier.i tot only go for treatment ended up getting ahair cut.well not tat short but it made my head light.like i have no problem in life... which is definitely not the case especially with the results cuming tomoro...

P.S Good Luck to firstly my DInG!,my friends and schoolmate!

With LOVEs
hidayah

SUCKER FOR LOVE

guess what i dun think i need hym too...plus i rather be a free person than becoming a punching bag for his life of not getting attention.i guess what happen between hym n his previous ex is the same reason tat i too cant seem to tolerate.

your the one that walks right through me
before you say that you knew me
cause you treat me like i was invisible...
eventhough you made me feel special for a moment
it was nothing compared to the shit that you do
cause you are exactly who i thought that i knew...
and now im bleeding again for the moment
but im glad that the truth didnt drag me deeper
cause now i had made the choice that i should had made...

P.S It`s So Much Better Without You!

With LOVEs
hidayah

Who are you?

seriously..i duno hu are you guys?i tot u guys are the best ppl ever but now..i duno...i miss all those times and wish for it.we always give in to each other but now its all for ourself...i duno hu to trust now...

P.S dissapointed of the decision....

who will it be?

its been such a long time since the last time i blog...well i guess new year isnt what i expect it to be.the first day of the new year is the day of my first guilty day of the year too...im so confuse with what i want..or what i feel or anything...

im really sorry for what happen...i never tot this could happen cuz u two said to me tat watever my choice is..as long as im happy u guys are happy.i love both of u but this situation is making me sick of love again...especially after i just let a guy to my life again.

i dont get it
why is love so mess up?
i dont get it
why you both said it`s okay,
when it`s not...

i am a not a supergirl
that can help you when u mess up,
because i too get mess up myself
i am not a vampiregirl
that doesnt mind what people say,
because i do have a soul and feeling...

P.S what choice do i have?



With LOVEs
hidayah